Friday, May 20, 2011

To all the boys that I have loved before... (well one actually)

Firstly, my apologies to Julio for shamelessly plagiarising his lyrics, with a little tweak here and there.

Secondly, I'd like to send my unequivocable thanks to an ex-boyfriend of mine. It was back in my Middle East days when money was no object and responsibility was a dirty word that he lavished on me some of the most god-awful jewellery in the world.

You've all been there. They produce a beautiful box, you hold your breath as you open it, wondering what it could be........ and inside is the most hideous thing you've ever seen in your life.  You hold the smile, knowing you are being watched closely for your reaction. You take a beat then turn to them, fling your arms round them and promise that it's the most beautiful chain/bracelet/ring you've ever seen, all the while thinking that no power, human or divine, will ever make you wear it outside of the downstairs loo.

I had many such moments with this particular boyfriend and while I know I'm being very uncharitable and should just have been very grateful for such generosity, we all have our standards.  Most of it never made it out of the box, never mind the house, and has moved with me halfway round the world  to three different continents stuffed at the bottom of various boxes.

In my constant quest to make my life fit into my wardrobes I decided to take it all to a local jeweller and sell it. I didn't expect much, maybe a few hundred pounds if I was lucky.  I left with a big fat envelope stuffed with crisp purple notes. He may not have had much taste but at least he bought 22 carat! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So now, what to do with my money?  A new fridge freezer? A Kitchenaid mixer to sit unused on the side?  A pair of GHDs?  All of the above? Well, so far, in my excitement I've bought a saucepan and a slotted spoon. The Husband told me to put it in the bank. 'Fat chance of that,' I thought. So, who's for a shopping trip?


the fly in the web said...

After the wilderness that is rural France, I am rediscovering the joys of shopping!

Mr. Fly very worried.

Steve said...

A slotted spoon? Ooh! Hark at you Ivana Trump!


Go on holiday. That's what I'd do.

Wylye Girl said...

Fly,Mr Fly should join the husband then they can fret together!

Steve, I know, talk about frivolous eh!

hausfrau said...

Morning Wylye girl. Your tale is as tall as ever! An 'investment piece' for your wardrobe? I'm a saver - when I'm not coveting fabric or looking for bargains in the outlet village.
I have passed on to you a Liebster Award over on mine: enjoy!

Mother Hen said...

Like me, you are easily pleased. I would have gone with a whole new set of sauce pans and maybe some new knives!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Oh I think SO! :)

Well that's the thing about hideous but expensive jewelry (or jewellery if you're British) - it can always be turned into MOOLAH!

Wylye Girl said...

hausfrau, you sound like a woman after my own heart. An investment piece is high on my list, something antique perhaps. Like you I see no point in paying full price for anything and I'm often to be found poking round the outlet village in your neck of the woods,everything bought online goes through Quidco and dinner is only ever courtesy of Groupon. Thanks so much for the award. That's most appreciated

Wylye Girl said...

Mother Hen, I'm very easily pleased.. otherwise I would have insisted on something wearable in the first place! :-)

Veggie, well there you go, I had no idea that us Anglo-Saxons had a different spelling for jewellery/jewelry. Moolah, Dosh, Wonga, Fric (in French) are all good for me!

Iota said...

A slotted spoon. Oooh, get you.

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