Secondly, I'd like to send my unequivocable thanks to an ex-boyfriend of mine. It was back in my Middle East days when money was no object and responsibility was a dirty word that he lavished on me some of the most god-awful jewellery in the world.
You've all been there. They produce a beautiful box, you hold your breath as you open it, wondering what it could be........ and inside is the most hideous thing you've ever seen in your life. You hold the smile, knowing you are being watched closely for your reaction. You take a beat then turn to them, fling your arms round them and promise that it's the most beautiful chain/bracelet/ring you've ever seen, all the while thinking that no power, human or divine, will ever make you wear it outside of the downstairs loo.
I had many such moments with this particular boyfriend and while I know I'm being very uncharitable and should just have been very grateful for such generosity, we all have our standards. Most of it never made it out of the box, never mind the house, and has moved with me halfway round the world to three different continents stuffed at the bottom of various boxes.
In my constant quest to make my life fit into my wardrobes I decided to take it all to a local jeweller and sell it. I didn't expect much, maybe a few hundred pounds if I was lucky. I left with a big fat envelope stuffed with crisp purple notes. He may not have had much taste but at least he bought 22 carat! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
So now, what to do with my money? A new fridge freezer? A Kitchenaid mixer to sit unused on the side? A pair of GHDs? All of the above? Well, so far, in my excitement I've bought a saucepan and a slotted spoon. The Husband told me to put it in the bank. 'Fat chance of that,' I thought. So, who's for a shopping trip?