Sunday, May 8, 2011

Oh Crap!

This week's Listography on Kate takes 5 is bad combinations. What things just don't go together. You'll see a common theme in my list.

1.  The Husband and Ballcocks

Many years ago I sent The Husband up into the attic to check on the ball cock in the header tank as it didn't seem to be filling up.  I said 'look, don't touch'. He touched. An hour later, as I sat in the lounge feeding out new baby, I heard running water. 'Ah,' I thought, he's doing the washing up.  A few minutes later I noticed he was, in fact, in the garden. So where was the running water coming from? I went into the hall to find water pouring down the stairs.

2.  The Husband and Ladders

The house we were living in at the time had a suspended bay window from the underside of which I had noticed a lot of wasps. I told The Husband I would call the Council to deal with it as he had a history of nasty reactions to wasp stings.  Did he listen? No he did not. He put an extending ladder up to the bay window and went up with some wasp killer to do it himself.  Within minutes he had been stung and come over all peculiar. I saw him wobble down the ladder from the lounge window, where I was playing with The Boy, who was a crawling babe at the time.  I told him to come in so I could give him some antihistamines but he insisted on putting the ladder away first. He unclipped the top section and pulled it down, not taking account of the fact that it was leaning up against the downstairs bay. As he retracted it the top the ladder smashed through the lounge window showering The Boy with broken glass. He was, fortunately, none the worse for it.

3.  The Husband and Electric Fences

When we lived in France we had to put up some electric fencing to keep the ponies in.  Posts were duly banged into the ground (without incident) and the electric tape attached. We had bought a heavy duty battery for it and The Husband was having some trouble getting the current to flow properly. After much cussing (from him) I decided to see if I could help.  We checked the circuits to see if it was earthing anywhere but found nothing.  In the end, The Husband redid all the connections, whacked the power up to maximum and flicked the switch.  I shot about a foot in the air. He had forgotten to put the earth spike in the ground and hadn't noticed that I was leaning on it

4.  The Husband and Chainsaws

Don't even ask!

And finally.....

5. The Husband and Spades

Today we decided to try and blitz the very overgrown garden. I had some extraneous aquilegias growing in the herb garden so I decided to move them into a  bed we had just cleared out. I asked the husband to dig me a hole for the plants, not too big, I said.  I went down to the herb garden to dig up the aquilegias.  "Oh no!" I heard him shout. "What's the matter?" I called.

This is what the matter was......

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Holy Crap.... literally!
Meet the sewage pipe that runs into our septic tank



19 comments:

Steve said...

You have 2 ways of looking at this. 1) your husband is accident prone and worthy of your sympathy; 2) your husband in fact a Lord of Chaos and we should worship him before he brings about the end of the world.

Kate said...

Oh no!!
I love this - though i'm not sure I'd agree with either of Steve's options!

@FayC said...

Poor you, I feel your pain!

Wylye Girl said...

Steve, I'd go for 1 but he'd probably go for 2!

Kate, let me know if you need any DIY doing won't you!

Jane and Lance Hattatt said...

Hello:
In the nicest possible way, could it be that The Husband is something of a liability when it comes to practical tasks?

Our advice is to call in tradespeople and send The Husband out to do overtime at the office, or wherever!

motherventing said...

Ahahahahha that is hilarious, should I play devil's advocate and point out that he was trying to be helpful on all occasions?? Hmm, no, on second thoughts, he is quite the disaster-magnet ;)

Great list!

Reluctant Housedad said...

Your husband sounds like my kinda guy. Tell him to put his tools down and I'll meet him in the pub. Much safer there! Great list.

A Farmer's Wife said...

Loved this list. Also love the fact that you took a photo of the broken pipe!

Wylye Girl said...

@KayC, but not as much as I do! :) Nice to come across another West Country blogger

Lance and Jane, he has had some notable successes but somehow they are overshadowed by his failures. He has other qualities though.. .thankfully!

Wylye Girl said...

motherventing, hello and welcome to my blog. Yes, he is trying to be helpful so I really shouldn't complain. On second thoughts.....

Reluctant Housedad, he says how soon can you be there! Thanks for stopping by

Wylye Girl said...

A Farmer's Wife, I had to take the photo covertly and if he knew I'd put it on t'interweb I'd probably be heading for the divorce courts! Thanks for popping in all the way from Australia :)

Curry Queen said...

LOL! I bet someone's a popular boy!

This Mid 30s Life said...

I'm going to show this to my husband to make him feel better. DIY is not his forte either.

mrwriteon said...

Doesn't well-meaning count for just a little. He seems undeterred by mishaps. That's commendable.

Wylye Girl said...

CQ, let's just say it wasn't his greatest moment

This Mid 30s Life, maybe he can join The Husband and Reluctant Housedad at the pub

Mrwriteon, it is indeed commendable and I do appreciate his continued efforts. He's not crap at everything DIY related and his brilliant at his job so that's good!

the fly in the web said...

Mother has a phrase for it...
Meant well.....so did Hitler.

EmVi said...

Lol, very entertaining. He sounds a bit accident prone. A bit like me as a child which may be why I try not to do any DIY myself. I have no fear of my husband injuring himself as I've been waiting years for him to paint the ceiling, fix the hole at the front of the house, etc etc. At least yours seems to do the jobs albeit a bit cack handed. :-)

Elaine said...

I say you should discourage the husband from going near any kind of DIY equipment/job. Of course, it could be a cunning ploy on his part to get out of doing any further home improvement projects!

Wylye Girl said...

Fly, that's brilliant. I shall have to remember that one

EmVi, hello and welcome. I guess I should be grateful that at least he gives it a go, even if he shouldn't

Elaine, we have to repaint the house shortly. Should I get someone in to do it do you think? :)

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