Fabio Capello, a man of few words .....well 100 at least

.Well, I'm sure you were all saddened to see Fabio resign...No?  Me neither.

In homage to the man who is to the English language what Shakespeare was to Serbo-Croat, here's my blogpost from last year about Ab Fab Fab.........

The British are often chastised for being poor linguists, too lazy to learn another language. It seems this is not just an Anglo-Saxon trend.

I read in The Times today that the totally unintelligible Fabio Capello, he of the pitchside interviews that leave you going 'Huh?', believes his poor grasp of the English language doesn't prevent him from being an effective Manager of the England team.

I guess those who watched the comprehensive drubbing of our pathetic national team in the World Cup might beg to differ but never mind Mr C.

Fab Fab believes that he only needs 100 words in order to be able to communicate with his team. Personally, I'm not sure that the entire team has a vocabulary of more than 100 words combined but perhaps I'm being a bit harsh. The rest he makes up with elaborate hand gestures which generally involve pointing at the goal, jumping up and down and going purple in the face. It's nice to know that he's paid £4 million a year for this.

So, here is my suggestion for the 100 words that he needs to manage the team. Feel free to add your own.

Poor, passing, missed, penalties, bend, it, like, fashion, icon, in, his, own, mind, at, least, superinjunction, sorry, mate, I, schtupped, your, girlfriend, Wayne, Rooney, Shrek, Ashley, oops, gun, went, off, by, accident, never, mind, only, work, experience, offshore, bank, account, not, tax, evasion, avoidance, two, percent, what, is, the, problem,  roasting, young, tarts, drinking, driving, get, off, prison, sentence, failed, World, cup, bid, are, you, blind, ref, team, resembles, Pugh, Pugh (OK, I know I'm repeating myself but I'll give you an extra word at the end), Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grub, clowns, drunken, nightclub, shenanigans, inept, captaincy, tuhbehonest, training, one, hour, each, day, Hello, big, cheque, obscene, chavvy, wedding, Teletubbies, more, talent, my, Hummer, bigger, your Ferrari

Have I missed anything?  Football fans will, no doubt, be delighted to know that each word in Don Capello's small English vocabulary is worth a cool £40,000.

In France I couldn't have got a job as a cleaner without a better grasp of French that the Inarticulate Italian has of English but that seems to be no barrier to success in the UK. Ain't equality a wonderful thing!

Oh Fab, I couldn't have put it better myself!