Tuesday, March 22, 2011

When I grow up I want to be....

Kate's Listography is being hosted by Manana Mama this week and the theme is what we wanted to be when we grew up. Anyone who reads my witterings regularly will know that I wanted to be....

1. Hayley Mills. Dammit I should have been Hayley Mills.  I knew I could be a great actress,  god knows I could act my heart out for my dog, I just couldn't carry it over onto the stage. I suffered from crushing stage fright and a constant fear that my knickers were showing.  My dog didn't seem to care but I was quite sure the entertainment correspondent of the Kent & Sussex Courier would.

Hayley Bloody Mills
It should've been ME!

As a result the highlights of my fledgling 'Oscar winning' career include playing Mary in my primary school's French nativity play and reading the Magnificat at a school carol concert, during which I spent the whole time tugging at my skirt which I was totally convinced was tucked into my knickers (see phobia above).

Honestly speaking, there wasn't really much chance of me waking up as Hayley Mills so I did have a Plan B.

2. An Opera Singer. Now, I should point out that I can sing opera. I'm not much good at ordinary singing but opera, well, I'm a bit of a diva.  My favourite aria is 'O mio babbino caro' by Puccini from his opera Gianni Schicchi. The Girl thinks I should go on Britain's Got Talent'. That won't happen (see 1 above) but I have sung The Planet's Suite at The Albert Hall with a few hundred others. 

O Mio Babbino Caro
sung by the Norwegian
Soprano, Sissel

My singing, at the moment, consists of warbling offkey with the Bath Rock Choir - I'm offkey, not them. Singing close part harmony has given me new respect (but not a lot) for girlbands because it's not that easy. I'm really a soppy soprano but The Melody Tarts, my singing buddies, are both altos so I've defected across the invisible line so we can all sit together.  This means that we have the sops on one side singing one harmony and the basses on the other singing another harmony. Even with fingers shoved in both my ears I find it difficult to pitch the harmony in between.  As a result, we occasionally sing the soprano part, occasionally we sing the bass part, occasionally we just sing the melody (hence our nickname)  or, if we have a dance routine to do, we don't sing at all. It's difficult enough to remember if we are supposed to be high clapping, low clicking, sweeping left, pointing right without actually singing real words too! Besides, you can't sing and mutter 'shit, wrong way again' at the same time anyway. But we do laugh.... a lot!

3.  A Lawyer. The Husband says that I am so argumentative that I might as well get paid for it!

4.  A Writer. I wanted to write 'The Great British Novel', a book that would change the world, that would make people think, that would imprint itself in the reader's heart. 'Sophie Harrington Goes to France', my Nanowrimo offering, is unlikely to be it. Instead I ended up in Slebrity PR, writing slebrity drivel and wiping slebrity a**ses.

5.  Me! Now that I am all growed up, allegedly, I'm actually quite happy just being me.

"What? No more beer?"
Wylye Girl, drunk and sunburned,
somewhere in the Middle East
circa 1990


The Vegetable Assassin said...

I might pay actual money to watch you live on the BBC, hitting high notes as you tug the hell out of your dress to make sure your underwear isn't showing. I say do the show, but do it in JUST YOUR PANTS and no skirt at all then you won't have that issue. See? Bam! Problem solved. That'll be $125.

Trish @ Mum's Gone to... said...

This post made me smile for lots of reasons but mainly because we have a lot in common with singing/acting stuff! I found in later years showing my knickers on stage helped enormously in my level of success ;-)

It's very hard being an alto because you never get the melody to sing: always some weird combination of notes instead which don't stick in your head.

Classic photo!

Wylye Girl said...

Veggie, oh my god.... O H M Y G O D! Why didn't I think if that? The check is in the post. Do you want Canadian or American?

Trish, it is very hard being an alto, especially if it's a song you know well as you tend to gravitate toward the melody rather than the alto part. Being a soprano was sooo much easier. I too discovered fame (eventually) by showing my knickers on stage with Showaddywaddy. Damn! Still haven't found that photo.

About Last Weekend said...

Hayley Mills - Holey Moley (sp?) I haven't thought about her in ages. She used to be my absolutely favourite -she was perfection with that high lispy voice...what on earth happened to her. I was rubbish at acting plus didn't have that great blonde hair so never could have been her.
I have thought about writing that novel whilst on many 28 hour flights from London to New Zealand and instead watched every in-flight movie and read every mag I could find in the pocket.
So me: not an actor or a writer, just very discerning on the cocktails (is that a skill for which you can be paid?)

Wylye Girl said...

ALW - I discovered, from another blogger, that she actually lives down the road from the school where my children used to go. She was, indeed, perfection and although I had/have blonde hair it is dead straight and lacking in Hayleyesque bounce. You could always write a book on cocktails...?

auntiegwen said...

When I grow up I still want to be Sharleen Spiteri.

Steve said...

Me to! Me to! I want to be a writer!

And a martial arts expert. And a top chef. And a TV presenter. And an actor.

Most of all though I want to be a rich layabout.

Mañana Mama said...

You should be Hayley Mills, dammit! But only if you ever get tired of being you - and from your last pic, being you looks pretty fun :)

Wylye Girl said...

Steve, well thank God YOU don't want to be Hayley Mills. If you ever become a rich layabout, remember your old bloggie friends.....

Wylye Girl said...

Manana Mama,it has been said that I'm pretty fun to be around... or was it pretty funny to be around? The photo was taken on the day of my infamous Weevil Curry, the story of which I told back in February. If you read it you may possibly want to reassess your comment! Thanks for visiting x

Wylye Girl said...

auntie - Sharleen Spiteri is good, very good but do you think you will ever grow up? I still think I'm 18, it's just the body that isn't quite keeping up the illusion!

the fly in the web said...

When I was growing up I just wanted to be thirty...and as far as I am concerned I still am...(note absence of mirrors in household).

Sarah said...

I don't think I ever had any illusions about acting, I'm way too self-conscious. Singing, though, I did a lot of, and would have liked to be Emma Kirkby, she of the brilliant Baroque voice.
I didn't have the foggiest idea what I wanted to be when I grew up (apart from long-distance lorry driver when I was 10) until I hit 43 when I thought I'd could do profiling but realised I'd be retired before I could work. Oops.

Wylye Girl said...

Sarah and Fly, sorry I took so long to approve your comments.

Fly, I'm the same though I never seem to have got past 18!

Sarah, Emma Kirkby, I'm not familiar with her. I sense a youtube moment coming on. I considered, a few years ago, studying law which is what I always wanted to do but like you I worked out I'd be going to the bar shortly before retirement age. Mind you, at the rate we're going over here I'd probably still have a good 15 years left!

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