Thursday, July 14, 2011

I name this child.....

I waited with bated breath (well actually I didn't because, really I'm not that fussed) to see what Bosh and Pecks would call their latest child. As slebrity parents go, the names they chose for their children are only slighty off left field. No Princess Tiiaammii, Dusti Rain, Jermajesty or Sage Moonblood for them. With the others named after a) place of conception - mine would be called London and Not Entirely Sure - b) shakespearean name - though I doubt for a single nanosecond that that is why the name was chosen  - and c) a spanish girl's name... for a boy.

So, based on that I was thinking a) Back Seat of Car/Mattress/Round Tom and Katie's, b) Elbow (from Measure for Measure, keep up now!) or perhaps Goneril, as slebs don't much care if their offspring have the piss taken out of them and c) Jose

But in the end, they eschewed the slebrity penchant for wierd names and just gave their daughter a time. Harper Seven. Say it quickly and it's Half Past Seven. Now for all you people of a North American persuasion, I'm aware that it doesn't work but imagine it said in Pecks flat estuary accent, or Bosh's slightly common Hertfordshire one and it's not a name, it's most definitely a time.

Bosh is said to be delighted with the name chosen by her other slightly oddly named offspring. Apparently it's after a character called 'Harper Finkle' in a Disney show, 'The Wizards of Waverley Place'. Reputedly Pecks has often read these books to himself..... sorry, to his boys, and they've visited to the set.  Bosh is apparently delighted that they've chosen an Old English name - like she knew! Oh well, their favourite show could have been Dumbo.

Seven was Peck's number at Man United and England, where he achieved a modicum of success. Note he didn't call his daughter Harper Twenty Three. Number fixations are apparently very common in people suffering from OCD, as apparently Pecks does.

But you can just imagine the conversations when she's older.  Half Past Seven's first day at school.

Little Boy: Hello, what's your name?

7.30:  Harper Seven

Little Boy: No, what's your name?

30 Minutes Past:  Harper Seven

Little Boy:  I didn't ask you what the time was. I asked you what your name was

Seven Thirty:   It's Harper Seven

Little Boy:  It's not half past seven, it's nine o'clock (obviously these are very bright slebrity  hothoused children). Oh I give up. I'm going to talk to someone else

If it had been another boy would he have called it Joe 90 I wonder? Is their goldfish called Oceans 11? Did they call their dog Kay 9? Does anybody actually care?

11 comments:

Cro Magnon said...

No points for common sense I'm afraid. Well at least the poor girl can change it when the time comes.

Vera said...

You made me smile as I was reading this, and that smile was much needed at this moment in time! Thankyou!

Steve said...

Should have called him Harper Sleep cos that's how I felt when I heard the news.

Wylye Girl said...

Hi Cro and welcome. I don't mind Harper particularly, it's just the combination of names which is quite ridiculous. But as you say, she can always change it

Hi Vera, glad to have provided a much needed smile

Wylye Girl said...

Steve, I had Harper mind not to bother writing this post because Harper me couldn't give a rats arse. We could be on to something here!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I was actually gobsmacked when I heard the name they chose because honestly, I was expecting her to have some flowery goddess name like Celestia-Rose Petunia Honesty Beckham. So to me Harper Seven was like, "....oh." Even though I thought she'd gone mad and named her after the Canadian Prime Minister only backwards.

I even kind of like it. I mean I wouldn't call my own (mythical) kid that but it's not as bad as many celebs. Well done Vicky! At least they didn't make Seven the first name because then I'd have to go kick her right up the fanny.

mrwriteon said...

I used to live in England so I was able to say it replete with appropriate accent. Well, it is better and more inspired than poor Paltrow kid's Apple. And Zappa had aready taken Dweezil and Moon Unit.

The Cloth Shed said...

Great post...you had me smiling too with the brilliant "first day at school scenario"
You should send Bosh and Pecks a copy....
Julie x
Found your blog via Hadriana's Treasures.

About Last Weekend said...

Oh Lord, here I was temporarily elated....thinking it was after Harper Lee and how in heavens name had she ever found the time - amid filing her nails - to read To Kill a Mockingbird...how depressing that's it after a TV character...Even Demi Moore has read the book and called her daughter Scout. More depressing - I knew Demi called her other daughter Tallulah but thought ten years ago she was washed up...so safe to name my only daughter after the Indian name (high water) - she is part American Indian - who would have know Demi would revive her career with a marriage to Ashton???? So I'm the fool. Fear my T will have many others following...

Wylye Girl said...

Veggie, as ever you made me snort my tea! I was surprised that she sent for something that is relatively normal in the great scheme of things

mrwriteon, the Husband is just about to start a film with Sly Stallone so I'll have to get him as ask just what he was thinking of when he called is son Sage Moonblood. On second thoughts....

Wylye Girl said...

Hi Julie and welcome. Do you think I should? Your blog is lovely. I shall become a follower and be tremendously jealous that your house is a haven of calm and beauty while mine is chaotic!

ALW, it's a bummer when these slebs just refuse to lay down and disappear off the scene. I roared with laughter at the thought of Bosh reading 'To Kill a Mockingbird'... in fact, I roared with laughter at the thought of her reading, full stop!

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