The Rugby World Cup Zola Budd - You play for WHICH team?' Award

In rugby, as in many other sports, players for national teams may have a fairly tenuous link to their adopted country. Readers of my age will remember the Zola Budd debacle, when the barefoot South African teenager was fast tracked to a British passport so she could compete for Great Britain in the Los Angeles Olympics in 1984. As with so many schemes masterminded by The Daily Mail (yes, causing trouble even in those days) it was a disaster and after tripping and taking out America's Darling, Mary Decker, she scuttled off back to South Africa which was, really, her home.  Her British passport has probably only been useful for jumping the immigration queues at Gatwick. So here are my nominations for the players who really sound like they should be playing for another team.

1.  Making his second appearance in my RWC awards is Toby Faletau who plays for ....... Wales

2.  Then just to confuse you, Simon Danielli

3.... and Nick de Luca

...... play for Scotland


4.  While Luke McClean who sounds like he should play for Scotland......

..... actually plays for Italy (and was born in Australia)

5.  Adam Byrnes sounds like he should play for Ireland but.....

..... he plays for Russia. (Although he made his name playing in Ireland and Australia, he declared for Russia on the grounds that his maternal grandmother is Russian)

6.  Does Paul Williams play for Wales?  No....

..... he plays for Samoa. (His father is an ex-All Black and his brother plays for Clermont in France but after a successful career in New Zealand he declared himself for Samoa internationally)

7.  Shaun Webb

8.  James Arlidge

9.  And Luke Thompson

.... sound like they should play for England but they actually play for ...... Japan! As do Michael Veitch, Bryce Robins and Ryan Nicholas.  Both Luke Thompson and Shaun Webb got Japanese citizenship on residency grounds a mere month before the start of the World Cup.. and there's me thinking that their great grannies were Japanese!

10.  And finally, at Number 10, everybody's favourite Man Overboard, Manu Tuilagi, who could play for Samoa ....

...... but, as most of us know, Manu plays for England. His is probably one of the most tenuous links to the nationality of the country he plays for as he was, until last year, an illegal immigrant. But hey, if you're an illegal with a talent, who cares?  Not the UK government it would appear.

The Rugby World Cup Donald Trump Bad Hair Award

I had intended to post this last weekend but the shock exit of  England against a French team that, the week before would have struggled in an under 8s tag team, has left me a bit flat. But never mind, this is rugby. We have to man up and support the French Welsh French oh, who bloody cares.

But as a bit of light relief from the excitement and pressure of the semi-finals , I am giving you my nominations for the very special 'Donald Trump Bad Hair' award.

In no particular order.....

1. M'a Nonu - The All Blacks

Looking bizarrely as if he's dreadlocked his ear hair, M'a is more NoNo than Nonu

2.  Berrick Barnes

Staying downunder, my next nominee is Jedward-in-Training Berrick Barnes. (How long is that man's neck?)

3.  Zane Kirchner - Bokke

Zane is shocked to discover just how daft his hair is....

4.  Jerry Flannery - Ireland

Hailing from the West of Ireland, a place we all love. It's just like England 40 years ago.... .including the hair styles apparently

5.   Toby Faletau  - Wales

Toby from Tonga (that well known suburb of Cardiff) loves his big hair. Not sure I do though

6.  Martin Castrogiovanni - Italy

Very nearly a contender for the Facial Hair of Shame award, no bad hair award would be complete without the hirsute Mr Castrogiovanni's barnet, which would only be collar length if he actually had a neck

7.  Eric Fry - USA

Just when you thought the Bobby Charlton comb-over was dead and gone, along comes Eric to bring it to the next generation

8.  Ippei Asada - Japan

Poor Ippei looks as if his hair has been stuck on as an afterthought, or possibly cut out of a magazine and popped on a photo of him

9.  Census Johnston - Samoa

The South Seas Island teams provided rich pickings for the bad hair awards but one of my favourites is Census Johnston - and what a faaabulous name too! It might have looked OK on Michael Bolton in the 19802 but come on Census, this is the 21st Century

10.  Andrey Garbuzov - Russia

Showing off the Boris Karloff look to it's greatest effect, Andrey is something of a trend setter in Krasnoyarsk. (That's in Siberia in case you were wondering)

So, who get's you vote?

PS. Dear IRB, it's me again, using you photos without permission. Just a little reminder that my penalty is to have the All Blacks go a Haka in my lounge. Don't forget now......... please